Gervais Diagnosed With Leprosy

Gervais with 'life partner' Ramgooly Bakki.

Entrepreneur Ricky Gervais is currently being treated for leprosy at St Gusset's hospital in East Cheam. It is believed the star contracted the decease from a neighbours dog. Whilst filming continues on what may be the last season of 'Extras', the BBC have stated that new 'CGI' techniques will be used to airbrush weeping sores and pustule's from his body. The same technology was used on the film, 'The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen' to create a virtual 'Sean Connery' who died from gout whilst arguing with the director.

Writing partner and one time IRA member Stephen Merchant was unavailable for comment due to a ruptured colon sustained whilst paragliding in Kenya.

Mr Bakki meanwhile was recently seen buying plasters and absorbent cloths from the supermarket where he works as a fishmonger. When cornered he stated that the couple wanted to be left alone to work through this in their 'own bloody time'. 'You bloody shitting bastards, you leave us alone', were his final words before returning to his counter to wearily slice up a haddock.

Hollywood has been shaken to its stumps by the news. A confused and clearly high O.J. Simpson has caused controversy by suing the BBC for breach of contract. The murderer and one time 'Monopoly Champion 1989' was due to record a cameo this June, but has now pulled out, citing, 'irreconcilable disgust'. 'When I signed up for this gig, they NEVER said I'd be workin' with lepers. I feel victimized, and now ah GOTS ta git paid'.

An around the clock vigil is being held outside St Gusset's by Mr Gervais' fan club led by ex Olympic swimmer and hypnotherapist, Duncan Goodhew.

'Well, we'll stay as long as have to. And if he comes out looking like a Shredded Wheat, then, so be it'.

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