Brand pointing to his lord. (Christ)q: Thanks for dropping by Russ. Firstly, your addiction to heroin, it must've been hell.
Russell: Well, that was a long time ago..
q: Two weeks..
Russell: Well, yeah,..but like a rrrrrrrrampant homosexual,...arv put it behind me..
q: .....
Russell: Thatsa joke..
q: Oh I see, yes.
Russell: Dear oh dear, oh dear, arr fink SOMEONE'S not 'ad their tea n cornflakes, 'ave they?
q: ....Ha-ha, yes. Now, regarding your addiction..
Russell: Look mate, there's really not alot to tell. Besides, since arr fand JEESUS as me own personal saviour, evryfin's been alirght. I aint touched da Charlie in weeks, and them 'oles in me knob have nearly cleared up...
q: ...'oles'?
Russell: From shootin' all da scag. Me veins were pretty well facked, so I 'ad to use me winky like. Ooooh, ya should've seen it, all BLUBBERYYYY it was like, just like a fresh pomegranate. Ooooooh, I saaaaaay! (winks)
q: That's quite an image.
Russell: Arv got a picture on me phone if ya like?...
q: No, you're alright...
Russell: Suit yaself. (gestures in an Edwardian foppish manner)
q: You've talked quite openly about being 'born again', could you elaborate?
Russell: Oooooh, I saaaay! Believe me mate, if I ELABORAAAATED right now you'd probably 'ave a fackin' seizure...(giggles)
q: ....
Russell: ...Well, I was in Befnal Green at a mates hass off me fackin' bonce as usual. There I am sat on the floor in 'is barfroom with a needle 'angin aht me cock and VOMIT all over me brogues. Arm abat to pass out when I hears a voice, 'Ruuuuusseeeelll, RUUUuuuSSEell', it's sayin'. That's a bit odd, I finks. But when ya shootin' up every four hours most fings seem a bit peculiar. (Cackles)...
q: Indeed.
Russell: ...I looks across, and there, standin' in the shower is the Virgin Mary. She's all bavved in this white light and she's smokin' a cigar wiv the words, 'Ever Ready' emblazoned on the side. She tells me that I am to change me ways, or else I'll spend eternity in a Dantesque scenario where some geeza's shovin' seagulls up me 'arold.......
q: .......errm..right..
Russell: So, next day I goes frew me flat, I gets a bin liner and chucks in all me needles and H and pipes and crows, ties it up and places it in a cupboard. I was cured. Rather rrrremarkable really, wouldn't you say?
q: Yes, that's quite, something.
Russell: Yeah, so these days me only vice is the occasional glass of port.
q: Really?
Russell: ...well, that and the meth.
q: Russell Brand, 'ta'.
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